Other Things Awesome #2: That Mac Guy Being Turned Into a Walrus (Review of Tusk).

Hi folks!

For those of you who don't know, I love podcasting. Not only do I do Joemiroquai, but I also run the Joemirocrew Podcast Network (link below). It is essentially a series of podcasts involving myself and my friends rambling about anything that's on our minds, from video games and media, to old times. Now, the reason why I started getting into podcasting is because of a certain podcast guru, Mr. Kevin Smith.

Some know him as the dude who got kicked off the plane, whereas others know him as that guy that is always on the Walking Dead marathon on AMC. Well, he is head of the SModcast podcast network, and on one of his flagship podcast SModcast (with producer pal Scott Mosier), there was an episode called the Walrus and the Carpenter, in which Scott and Kevin essentially created a premise of a movie off of a wacky Craiglist-esque post (link below). After loving that episode and hearing that it was actually going to be turned into a movie, I was super excited and ventured to the closest screening (about an hour away, in Davenport, IA) of Tusk.

It almost looks like the moon has a mustache.

Before the movie even started, I knew I was in good company. The theater was small (120) and the audience was even smaller (approx. 30), but walking into a theater of followers of SModco (SModomites? SModcastanets?) made me feel right at home. The premise of the story is unorthodox to say the least. It starts off with Justin Long (yep, the Mac guy) and Haley Joel Osment (yep, 6th sense kid who sees Bruce Willis all the time) recording a podcast on the Not See Party. The Not See Party's premise is that Wally Bryton (Long's character) goes and interviews people that are a little off, and brings the story back to Teddy (Osment's character) and they riff on the story from there. When Wally finds a video of The Kill Bill Kid (basing it off of the Star Wars Kid), He decides to go up to his home in Canada. When he finds out he was bullied to the extent of committing suicide, Wally goes to a bar and finds a peculiar post in the bathroom. The post consists of a man who wants to tell stories and has a lodge open for people to stay. He stops and grabs a drink from the Eh-to-Zedd on his way over, and when he asks where the Bifrost is (where the guy lives), the clerks say that it's Aboot two hours from there.

Mountie approved Canada humor right here!

When Wally arrives at the man's house, he is welcomed and is offered tea. During this time, the old man (played by Michael Parks) starts telling stories. Over time, Wally feels drugged and eventually passes out. When he wakes up, he hears more stories from the old man consisting of a Walrus. While he was stranded on an island, his only friend was a walrus. Because of this, he then asks," Is man truly a walrus at heart?" Well… I'm not going to cover the plot to the entire movie, but things spiral out of control, in the sense that, well, eventually Wally is converted into a full walrus, complete with the skin of other lodgers. After the walrus suit is revealed, well… the movie just goes frickin bananas from there. That's all I'm going to say.

Weirdly enough, this is the normal part of the movie.

OK. Done with the coverage, now to the positives. I gotta give it up to the one guy that truly keeps this movie alive: Michael Parks. His character is layered with stories, mysteries, and all-around craziness that it felt like you didn't know what to expect when he was on the scene. His character starts as a Renaissance Man, and over time you realize that he is just insane. Not only that, but Smith wrote that character so wonderfully that each of his stories were more gripping that the last. Not only was the writing for Parks done well, I also thought that overall the writing was done well. Smith combined a sense of dark humor and backed off on the stereotypical crude humor, and well… never thought I'd say this, but it's nice to see a well thought-out dick joke.

Critic approximation of a Kevin Smith movie.

In addition to Smith's writing, I feel that Tusk was also a step up in his role as a director. There was movement in the camera when there was a larger sense of action, whereas the camera remained stationary when characters were giving dialogue. Smith always as a cool way of just letting the characters go and not adding flashy camera angles or epic music to make up for what is happening. The untampered, raw appeal definitely goes in your head and sits there until you feel the exact same feeling that Smith was portraying.

Now, there are a couple of issues that I had with the movie. The good news is that Smith fleshes out the characters through dialogue. However, I will say that this movie is very dialogue heavy. Like, real heavy. Like, it's like eating a jar of peanut butter heavy. There was a monologue about 2/3s the way through the movie delivered by Guy LaPointe (who has a very interesting cameo), in which I was getting antsy for the next scene. I understand that the actor that played LaPointe was a move from left field, but his monologue firmly established in my mind that he is much better in action sequences than he is delivering exposition. Thankfully, most of the monologues are interesting and will keep you entertained, especially if it is delivered by Parks or if it the monologue by Wally's girlfriend Allie (played by Genesis Rodriguez).

The only other issue that I had with the movie is the role of Wally (Long). Although he has charisma and Long plays his role very well, I didn't know if the character himself was supposed to be likable. There are multiple flashbacks of him being self-centered and his girlfriend missing the old Wally. Over time, Wally pleads for forgiveness and says that he realizes how much he messed up. However, in the end I didn't know if Smith was aiming for a redemption story or a story focused on getting what you deserved. After thinking about it, maybe it's not about reaping what you sew… it's about being a frickin walrus!

Wilford Brimley needs NO costume.

Upon hearing that so far Tusk has only received a 39% on Rotten Tomatoes, I was wondering the reasoning for the low score when I thought it was a good movie. As I thought about the things I laughed at and things I liked, I realized that a lot of those aspects were from various episodes of the SModco network. From seeing the "What! What!" shirts from Edumacation, to mentioning Ponder Rock, to seeing Ralph Garman finally having some lines, I realized that if someone isn't familiar with the SModco universe they may not receive the movie to its full effect. Smith has declared multiple times that he has already established his audience so there is no need to make things introductory. Not only that, but he is now making movies that he wants to see and not what the mainstream media wants to have created. Thankfully, Smith brings to life what those of us envisioned from The Walrus and the Carpenter, and I believe that dialogue and mixed characters aside, Tusk is the kind of movie that I want to see more of! I say go see it and you will not be disappointed!

Thank you,

Joey

Joemirocrew

https://soundcloud.com/joemirocrew

SModcast 259: The Walrus and the Carpenter

http://smodcast.com/episodes/the-walrus-and-the-carpenter/

Metal Cereal- Review: Xandria, Delain, Sonata Arctica at Mojoes, Joliet 9/17/14

Hi folks!

So, after a year hiatus, I finally saw something that made me want to be creative and start writing again. It took a band that I idolized for over a decade in addition to a couple of other great metal bands pouring their hearts out on stage for me to go," huh. I really need to start doing something with my life." so, now I've dusted off the old 'quai and here is a review of… well, you can read the title.

Foreshadowing: that face will come into play later.

So, I was waiting in line, right? I was looking down at my ticket, in addition to looking at the info for the VIP package that I also got because I'm a grown-ass man. My mind is flooding with Sonata Arcitca tunes in line! However, I haven't been to a live concert in about 5 years. Not only that, but I haven't raised the horns at a concert since I was 19 gosh-dang years old! Needless to say, when I was waiting in line, I realized I was far from my metal roots. I was in between the typical sasquatch dude you see at a concert (6'6", 4' broad, smelled like burnt cheese. You know the one.) and two old metal heads that decided to tell everyone around them about how much concert cred they have. Unfortunately, the two dude's claim to fame was hanging out in a bar with Geoff Tate, the lead singer of Queensryche… more like, take hold of the LAME am I right!?

I would've gone with Jet City NO-Man.

well, after a hour of waiting, It was finally time for the VIPers to head inside. Here's the deal: everybody got a poster and the band could sign it. In addition to that, we could take a picture with the band. However, there was a catch: we couldn't go behind the band. If we wanted a picture, we had to be in front of them due to tragic cases of bunny-ears in photos I presume. I wasn't complaining, but after I found that there was a frickin TABLE between the fan and the band, I was slightly rustled.

Waiting in line, I was going through all sorts of scenarios. What would they sound like? What will be their demeanor? I mean, I've never been in a meet and greet before! Let alone, one with one of my favorite bands. I took a breath and relaxed because I'm one of many fans here.Then, they come out to stand at the table. Ecstatic doesn't come close to describing how I felt! My first thought was,"WOW. IT'S THEM…" then followed by,"… AND THEY'RE REALLY SHORT." Like, 5'7ish. I'm not a tall guy, but I just imagined them in my mind like these giant icons of metal! For some reason, it calmed me down (I guess I have the size advantage…?).

The band seemed very humble. Although the only two original members of the band are the drummer (Tommy Portimo)and lead vocalist (Tony Kakko), the fans were excited to meet all of them. Horns were raised, middle fingers flew, and Tony had a pleasant conversation with the two girls in front of me after goofily posing for some pictures with them. I thought," psh, I may not be a girl, but hey he seems cool!"

There I was, face to face with the little big man himself, Tony Goddamn Kakko. I asked the most metal question to him: "Hello! How are you today?" nailed it. He smiled, nodded and replied," I am quite well, thank you." After peeing myself, a mini panic attack, and stressfarting, I asked him if I could get a picture with him… I mean, the earlier stuff didn't happen, but I do remember a very evident voice crack when I asked him. After he agreed and abiding by the bunny ear law, I had to lean and put on my most metal face.

Nailed it!

after looking at the picture, and what happened to the girls in front of me, I was kinda thrown off, but hey, I got the photo evidence that I met him! The rest of the band were very down to earth, and when I asked how they were, they were all doing alright… like I was anticipating some sort of mental breakdown or something. When I asked the keyboard player he said," I am quite ok." which for some reason stuck out to me… quite ok. Like, I'm SO present and accounted for. but anyway! I stood in the pit, and it was time for the first band: Xandria!

Judging by the clouds, they're much taller than Sonata Arctica!

Now this band is gonna be around for a while. I don't know much about them, nor do I really remember the setlist. I remember they played the more popular tunes that they have which aren't that many because they're fairly new (at least to napalm records). The band as a whole had a very interactive presence, by making eye contact while they play and getting the crowd riled up. What also impressed me was the lead singer (Dianne Van Giersbergen). She was enthusiastic about the music as well as being technically sound. Not only that, but she appeared as a larger-than-life figure, with a demeanor that said," HEY. I don't know what's more face melting: my sweet-ass beauty, or this sweet-ass band!" Unfortunately, they only played about 5-6 songs. However, I know that they left the crowd wanting more. After being appropriately warmed up, it was time for something I (hoped) could sink my teeth into: Delain!

Would you like your deep face in ivory, sour cream, or mashed potato?

If I had to sum up this band in one word, it would be… jiggly. Now, here's why. Dianne from Xandria was dressed fairly modestly, where the lead singer from Delain (Charlotte Wessels) wore a little bit more scandalous clothing. Although she had pants on, she had a see-through top that showed that she wasn't wearing a boobieholder. So, in addition to that… and she liked to jump around… and dance… I mean, the music was good! I think…

Visual approximation of half the crowd

but really though, the band behind Charlotte was very good! and Charlotte as a singer was very good. I'm not sure if Delain was my kind of metal though. I mean, sure the band was metal, but everything had kind of a superficial vibe. I also think that was added by the number of recordings. This was especially the case in one sing in which the lead singer harmonized with herself. I thought it would've been cool to hear the band harmonize instead, but hey, all in all I was head banging so they were doing something right. Now… the moment we were all waiting for: Sonata Arctica!

My visual approximation

They started off with The Wolves Die Young, which is the first single from their new album, Pariah's Child. This whipped the crowd into a frenzy like something crazy! Tony, despite being apathetic in my photo, put on a show from the start, using multiple hand motions and dramatic facial expressions to demonstrate what was happening in the music. After that, the band played Losing My Insanity from the band's 7th album Stones Grow Her Name. It gelled quite well with the overall vibe they were creating. Although they were building steam, the audience clicked with Tony after the announcement that they were planning on re-recording their first album Ecliptica and started playing My Land from that album. The setlist primarily bounced from Pariah's Child (Cloud Factory, What Did You Do in the War, Dad?, Blood, X Marks the Spot (in which the crowd flipped their lids over!)) and Ecliptica (My Land, Fullmoon, Kingdom for a Heart). The band's sophomore album, Silence, was also highlighted (Black Sheep, San Sebastian, Tallulah, Wolf and Raven). Only one song from Reckoning Night (Don't Say a Word) and The Days of Grays (Flag in the Ground)was performed.

Now, I didn't list it in order, but I want to focus on the actual performance side of things. I really don't know how else to say this: I wish I had the vocabulary to describe how passionate Sonata Arctica was with their music. This group, unlike Delain, didn't rely on recordings. The group came out and tore it up. Tony puts on an amazing performance, both technically and expressively. Every member of the band is technically sound, and I honestly wish that they made new music that pushed their technical skills even more. Albeit, Pariah's Child has plenty of technical moments, Each member of the band flexed their skills and it was nothing short of awesome! Needless to say, I screamed every word to every song and head banged as hard as I could.

All in all, I couldn't complain about the performance of any of the groups. Start listening to them now!



Thank you,

Joey